Christmas Karaoke with Love
A Tribute the Source within Us, for my Mom on the other side.
* About the Host *
Tessa Lynne Alburn believes that every woman has the ability to learn to express their true voice, be heard, and fulfill their dreams.
Tessa’s Free Gift: If you want to be freer, happier and more courageous in life, get your free Soulful E-Guide here and Say YES to Your Soul!
As a Feminine Energy Coach and Soul Connection Mentor for women, Tessa supports you in having the freedom you crave and strong connections with others, as you live powerfully with joy and a sense of adventure.
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May You Say YES to Your Soul.
Transcript:
Tessa Lynne Alburn (00:02):
Hello there. I am very happy to be back with you. And when
I was thinking about this episode and what I was feeling like could make a
difference today in your life, what came to mind was something that I hear from
clients when they first start working with me will say, I think I, I just want
peace. You know, there's like a level of peace that I'm looking for. It's, and,
and this is part of the bigger conversation, so it's not the whole thing. And
over the years working with clients, what I came to understand and see with
them is that what they really meant was something else. And so today I'm gonna
talk about the intention, the intention that you set for yourself and this is
connected to desire. And I know that you are not fully allowing yourself to
have the desire that's actually in you, in your heart, in your soul.
(01:15):
It's kind of being dampened down. And I want you to know
that as long as it's dampen down, you're going to continue to have that similar
experience. So, I'm gonna get a little more granular with this in a moment. And
the way that I'm gonna present this to you that I wanna talk about this is
energy blocks. So if you're not having like, that full experience of life, and
it's like outrageous joy, freedom, happiness, you know, yeah, of course you're
having moments of it, but the zest, the vivacity, the passion is elusive or
just fleeting now comes in and it's gone.
(02:06):
One of the reasons is you may be setting yourself up with
an energy block, and it's the energy block of under desiring and under desiring
leads to underachieving. So under desiring takes a certain kind of a toll on
the outcomes that you can expect to get. And today, this particular energy
block, it's gonna sound like it's a good thing to want, but the problem with it
is that it's surrounded by unconscious desires of what you don't want. And
therefore it causes you to create more of what you don't want than what you do
want. And it's not a riddle. I'm not gonna make you guess. The energy block
that I'm talking about right now is the under desiring of happiness.
(03:12):
And the way that I see it show up in women have expressed
this at some time when I ask them about their intention maybe for a session, or
what's your intention in a particular situation that's been maybe frustrating
them or causing some discord in their lives? And they'll say, what I want is a
little peace. I just want peace. If I can have my peace again, I'll be okay.
The problem with setting peace as your intention is that it is not a forward
energy. Let me explain this a little bit more so you understand what I'm
talking about. Because you know, a lot of us are thinking, oh, I'm meditating
so I can have peace, or I am learning so I can have peace. But really peace is
usually found in moments of time. Most of us will not stay there.
(04:21):
And I would even propose that, let's say the monks upon
the mountaintops perhaps are in Tibet or wherever they are, they are accessing
peace, and they are peace of all beings for the most part. But they're not just
at peace. They're in peace and wonder. They're in peace and connection. They're
somehow something is moving them forward. They're in peace and learning. And so
just to have peace is, is not something that is natural to us. If we were to
maybe feel a little stuck in our body and we decided to go to a cranial sacral
therapist or a cranial osteopath, we would have somebody who's probably putting
their hands behind our skull, helping the bones to move and to free up a little
bit so that the cranial sacral fluid that goes from the sacrum up into the brain
and flows back and forth all around the spine, they're trying to release
whatever is inhibiting that fluid from moving.
(05:37):
And in that process, it's possible that we could enter
something like a, that could be called a cranial tide, a long tide or a short
tide. And it's essentially, it's like a rhythm. Now, I'm not a expert in this,
but <laugh> I've had a lot of experiences with it on the receiving end,
and I have taken some courses. So forgive me if I'm missing some key components
here, but I'm just want to use this as an example because it was so profound
when I was able to personally access what is known as the long tide, or at
least known by some people in that field, like Georgia Mill and Charles Ridley.
There's a profound sense of peace there. So this is after all kinds of like
just being with the practitioner and things are moving, and finally the fluid
is flowing, and then there's like this deepening the softening into deep peace.
(06:51):
And it is very sweet. It's very beautiful and very
healing. And it's not possible to function from that space in our waking beta
normal lives. But we have these moments of accessing it, and we may have some
peace while we're sleeping. There are moments we have peace, but if we are
saying we're striving for peace, we need to really choose why that is. Like
what's the point of it? Because what is probably happening is you're really
wanting to not feel something. So you're choosing peace. Like I had, I had a good
friend who she's passed on, she used to say, oh, you know, if they could just
this, that, or the other, I could have my serenity back.
(07:53):
But the thing is like, it's not her serenity. If somebody
else is making you think that you don't have it, serenity is a state of being
that you produce. Now, what my friend really wanted was she really wanted
control. She wanted to play and she wanted to adventure, and she wanted to
express, she didn't want peace. It was so boring. And I see the same thing
happening with clients who initially come to me and they're like, I need peace.
It is not the chaos that is your problem. That's actually a level of denial or
coping. First, it could be the denial of the actual emotions that you're having
that you don't wanna deal with that seem too overwhelming or too hard or too
conflicted, or you're, you're jumping to the rationalization that if you have
peace, it'll all be okay, but it won't. It'll be okay for a few moments. And
then you're right back where you started. You wanna go deeper than that. You
wanna look at what do I actually want and what am I going to need to do to have
that? What might I need to adjust? Sometimes just making the adjustment to what
you actually want is going to be tremendous. Could be a game changer for you.
(09:38):
So what I would love for you to do is to actually explore
when you're saying to yourself, or you're saying expressing it out loud, maybe
to a friend or someone that you, oh, I just want peace. What is it you really
mean? Is it that you don't wanna feel frustrated? Let's identify that first.
You don't wanna feel something and you think peace is the solution. You don't
wanna feel scared, you don't wanna feel irritated. And so you're choosing the
thing that seems like the nicest thing to do. But what you're really doing is
aiming for something to go away. And you probably already know when you focus
on something, you actually get more of it. And what you're really focusing on
there is a thing you want to go away, whether it's a subconscious or
unconscious focus, it's a psyche's trying to solve it for you with or without
your awareness.
(10:45):
If you're intending to have non-stress around something
like there's a situation, or you want it to just go away and your focus is
gonna be on the thing that's been bugging you. Secondly, you're also in low
energy as you strive for it. So you're in low, you're like, oh, I just go away.
I just go away. Ah, I need peace. I need peace, right? It's, this is not a high
anabolic, forward moving energy. It's a coping energy. And you can become more
of whatever it was that you were feeling, more frustrated as peace slips away
from your sight. And instead you end up gathering more of what you don't want
energy until you begin to shut down. And shut down is not the same as peace.
It's a low energy. It doesn't feel good. It leaves you tired, it leaves you
disconnected.
(11:53):
And even if you are actually somehow able to create a
moment of inner peace, it will just be a moment. It'll just be a blip in the
experience of your life. So I really want to encourage you to aim for something
more active, an active energy such as happiness or gratitude. Now, before you
do that, you will want to acknowledge the feelings that you're having, and yet
don't linger there. Acknowledge without judgment and aim for something more
active, such as happy or grateful. And on your way to happy or on your way to
grateful. It may be part of the transition.
(12:46):
So you wanna think about energy as movement, and you get
to decide what that movement is going to be. It's gonna be forward leaning in
active energy, or it's going to be sinking in energy, like a concave feeling, a
heaviness. It's not light. Moving forward is light, it has energy. It's, it's
like being a well tuned car that has a battery and an alternator, and they work
together to create energy while you are not a car. When you activate a forward
energy, it gives you more energy. It's really wonderful. You cannot do it by
telling yourself positive words, just in your head. This is all about
generating the right kinds of feelings that are going to move you forward.
(13:50):
So even if this is esoteric for you, I just want you to
focus on what it is you really want. Now, when somebody comes to me and we're
doing goal setting, I can guarantee you there has never been anyone who
actually put peace in their goals chart. Never. Now, do we want world peace?
Yes. You know, we have an idea that we want world peace. We, what we really
want though, is for people to get along and people to care about one another.
We want people to embrace those of us who want world peace, probably want people
to embrace one another, care about them, and to feel cared and to let people
know they belong here and to feel as though you belong as well. So we're
community, we're together. So focus on what you really want, and then you'll
have energy. There's going to be movement. And you could experience it as like
curiosity. You know, it could be mild movement, that's fine. It could be big,
big energy, like awe. It could be a version of excitement. Yeah, I'm excited or
like excited. I'm excited. Right? It could be opportunity. Oh, oh, that's
interesting. It could translate into the desire for adventure or other things
that actually light you up.
(15:29):
So I want you to stop asking for peace and stop confusing
your mind with that goal. And instead really focus in and get honest with
yourself. Ask what it is that you really wanna feel, regardless of whether or
not you believe you can have it and acknowledge that you want it. What would
that be for you? Just take a moment right now and think about that. What do you
actually want? What do you, what is the experience you wanna be having? Like
love? Oh, feeling cherished. Yeah, engaged, proud. These things are forward
moving and you probably are already noticed. You may even as you think about
what you wanna experience, could even be leaning forward a little bit just
microscopically. Doesn't have to be a lot like your body will actually
physically respond. Now, I'm gonna give you a a different metaphor here for
wanting peace. I think of it like wanting peace is like wanting to be in the
calm of a hurricane. That's kind of cool, right? You can be in the calm of the
hurricane, but guess what? That hurricane is gonna move, is not gonna stay
there. It's a dynamic thing. Calm is only momentary until the hurricane moves
forward or sideways or back or whatever direction, north, south, east, west
catching you and her winds and rains, branches flying, water's rising.
(17:16):
If you wanna hold onto a nature element, I'm gonna suggest
wanting sunshine or moonlight even, right? Moonlight. Allowing yourself to have
the desire of luminescence or beauty or softness or subtle light, or in case of
the sun, warmth or glow.
(17:48):
When you're focused on that, when you're focused on the
warmth or the glow, you barely notice the clouds going by and you feel
uplifted. Now, you may not get energized by thinking about the moon. Maybe you
just need to think about the sun or something else. Or you could be like me and
get excited about the stars. I love the sun, don't get me wrong, <laugh>,
I'm in it as much as possible. But there's something beautiful and spacious
that I also tune into when I am focusing on a star or on moonlight. There are
nights when the moonlight is absolutely magical casting, luminous, light all
over the ground.
(18:42):
And I savor those moments wanting that connection propels
me forward. I need you to believe that you can have light and you can have
happy, and you can sustain those states for much longer periods of time. One of
my clients came to me wanting peace, <laugh>. And what she discovered was
what she really wanted was an authentic life and the freedom to follow her
heart instead of, you know, pleasing others. And she now lives in Europe and
she's thriving. She opened up to a whole new world. Things that were not in her
consciousness at all. And even if somebody had said, oh, you could go do this,
you'd be no way.
(19:43):
A different client came to me wanting to feel peace. And
as she did her work and we went deeper, helped her to go deeper into what she
really wanted. And she was thinking, she didn't wanna feel anger 'cause she was
angry, but in order to not feel the anger, she had to feel it first and then
focus on what she really wanted. She had to feel the anger, she had to know
that she needed to create safety for herself and trust herself in the
situation. And she wanted real connection in the situation with the other person.
So when you think you want peace or some other, I wanna say concave, almost
concave feeling, what is it you're really wanting to move away from? What do
you wanna move away from in your life? Do you wanna move away from drama,
stress, chaos, feeling out of control, overwhelm, feeling like there are too
many demands?
(20:58):
Just be honest with yourself. And then if you were able to
be without that thing, without the stress, drama, overwhelm, et cetera, what
would you want to have instead? What would you want to look forward to? Set the
bar higher for yourself. You can want it and you can have it. And if you don't
know how, you can't believe it just yet, you might wanna get some guidance with
it. I also want you to know, like just because you're not having it right now
doesn't mean that it is the writing on the wall. It is not forever. But unless
you wanna keep cycling back into the place you are now, you want to create that
forward motion, that forward movement, that energy, and you do have enough
power to generate that. So I'm gonna leave you with this. I am a fan of many meta
prayers, which is basically a prayer for others to release suffering, right?
And this is an empathetic intention, and I'm gonna invite you to notice the
difference when you are praying for peace versus praying for happiness. And so
I'm going to say a few words to you, and I'm just gonna invite you to notice
the difference. It could be very subtle.
(22:39):
And I'm going to be doing my best to use the same
inflection. So it's not about how I'm using my voice, it's literally the words
and the meaning that you're making of it, that you're gonna notice your energy
shift. Here we go. May you be safe, peaceful, and free of suffering. May you be
happy and healthy. May you be strong and confident. May you be safe, peaceful,
and free of suffering. May you be happy and healthy.
(23:45):
May you be strong and confident. Alright? Maybe you notice
something. If you didn't, that's okay. You can keep checking it out. Notice how
you feel with your thoughts and your words. And I'd like to share a few words
with you. Some loving kindness for the remainder of your day. You are the
oneness. May you come to know and experience the loving, limitless being that
you are. May you remember that you are love, a healing life force, a source, a
birthing place for peace, compassion, kindness, awakening, whatever is needed
now. May you be happy, healthy and whole. May you have love, warmth, and
affection. May you be alive, engaged, and joyful. Blessings and light to you. I
look forward to being with you again. Bye-Bye for now.